Rusty Pelican

Worst breakfast ever?

I finally managed to schedule both my kids in the same place for camp, but because of their age difference, they start an hour apart. Not as bad as racing across town driving to separate locations, but does create this void in the day which compels us to seek shelter in any establishment that sells coffee.

Yesterday we did Fuel on 45th, which hit the spot with good coffee and an apple turnover.

Today we decided to do the full-meal deal and go to the Rusty Pelican which serves breakfast all day. My advice is to avoid breakfast all day.

My son got the banana and strawberry kid crepe with a side of bacon. We are not much for animal protein as it is, but this bacon pretty much did me in. The smell and taste were somewhat feral, but the texture is what ruined me. Rubbery and almost alive. God.

After one experimental bite each, I instructed my son to leave the rest because "this bacon is disgusting." He emphatically disagreed and said it was DELICIOUS. Five year olds don't have discriminating palates and fail to understand quality, they just respond to that primal urge to consume fat and salt. His opinion is resoundingly discounted.

The crepe seemed fine, though the "fresh strawberries" seemed somewhat distressed. I ordered a skillet full of potatoes, veggies and loaded with shredded cheddar cheese. Someone please explain to me why all savory foods in this country must be enshrouded in cheese, like we don't consume enough fat without slathering it in more fat. Anyway, I'm sure the average McDonalds-lovin' consumer would deem it just fine.

The pancakes were a totally different story. Yes, the skillet came with a side of pancakes. Don't even get me started on the gluttony issue presented there, but fear not, as these pancakes were inedible. Can you say cardboard smothered in generic maple-flavored syrup product? Eww.

The service was quite good, but nothing could compensate for food like that. Call me demanding.