Freeway Etiquette 101

Dear Driver on I-5,

I'm sure you had an EXCELLENT reason for your erratic and dangerous driving patterns on the road last weekend, but I'd like to share a few driving tips that could save your life.

For one thing,  the definition of  FAST LANE is simply that... the lane where you drive FAST.  In fact, you are expected to drive well OVER the speed limit, while simultaneously monitoring the rearview mirror and radar detector.  Everyone else seems to understand this, except you.   If you ever paused to wonder why other drivers are riding your @$#, honking, and flipping you off,  these are just friendly reminders to move out of the FAST lane.

Secondly, if you feel compelled to exercise your constitutional right to be in that lane, it certainly is your prerogative; everyone else must defer to you.  However, when the FAST drivers swerve to the right lane to pass,  curb the urge to engage in a Mario-Andretti-Moment and do NOT speed up to prevent passing.  I know it takes a tremendous degree of self-control to refrain from that adrenaline-fueled aggression, but be aware that it leaves a plume of road rage in your wake.

Here's the final lesson:  You are NOT the center of the universe, despite what your enabling mother may have taught you.  Mindfulness of how your behavior affects those around you will save your life in LA, will win you friends in Seattle, and will earn you good Karma everywhere.